This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
