i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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