Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
