Bisexual people are plain selfish.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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