4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize