you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
