Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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