we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'