Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.

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  (323): I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now. http://tfl.nu/r6w8
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (876)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on

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  (631): He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on http://tfl.nu/fevt
  Replies (37) Good night (1530) Bad night (1049)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

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  (540): woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft http://tfl.nu/ob1j
  Replies (26) Good night (1013) Bad night (4544)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"

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  (407): I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays" http://tfl.nu/5s21
  Replies (38) Good night (3581) Bad night (829)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

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  (+44): The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps. http://tfl.nu/azhr
  Replies (14) Good night (6738) Bad night (1391)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.

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  (781): She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal. http://tfl.nu/dcp1
  Replies (15) Good night (3141) Bad night (1869)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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  (717): no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/m579
  Replies (5) Good night (3598) Bad night (687)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"

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  (908): We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!" http://tfl.nu/fs29
  Replies (11) Good night (3843) Bad night (1092)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.

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  (270): Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband. http://tfl.nu/lfj6
  Replies (10) Good night (2073) Bad night (725)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.

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  (214): I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress. http://tfl.nu/w1xg
  Replies (5) Good night (1142) Bad night (452)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...

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  (520): His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it... http://tfl.nu/6yoy
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (310)
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  (518): View more from New York

  How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by

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  (518): How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by http://tfl.nu/853j
  Replies (6) Good night (519) Bad night (283)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.

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  (816): I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine. http://tfl.nu/el1w
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (201)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

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  (603): I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked... http://tfl.nu/22n2
  Replies (4) Good night (335) Bad night (665)
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  (760): View more from California

  Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?

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  (760): Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection? http://tfl.nu/93gn
  Replies (5) Good night (314) Bad night (444)

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