y did u give ur computer a hand job?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her