saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize