whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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