1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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