"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
