You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
