i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
