I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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