this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't trust your balls anymore.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
