i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
