K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
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Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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