do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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