my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
