All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
