Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize