Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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