I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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