That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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