It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
