I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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