You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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