i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
