my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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