I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize