What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Its about making memories worth repressing
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
