gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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