So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
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a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
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Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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