If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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