But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
