I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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