He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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