Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
