so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this just has baby written all over it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
