we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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