You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
