This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Come see our sink grown plant.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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