I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
