how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
