Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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