dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
