My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
