She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
