Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
