literally had 100 drinks last night.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
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He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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