every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
