i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
