One girl and one boy is just not enough.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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