just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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