so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
