Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
