i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
