life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
