yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
