I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
