you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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