I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
