Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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