hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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